Tight noose......... Shivering hands.....determined mind.
She knew she could do it! She knew she would do it.
It is a known ritual to have a transition note, a ‘for
posterity sake NOTE' and she did have one. A last look at it and shivers ran
through her spine, manifesting a slim grin on her face as she called her name
aloud for the first time in a long time.... "MARY AKPAN".
The grin disappeared quicker than it appeared as she stole a
final glance at the top of her "NOTE"..."MY NAME IS MARY
AKPAN". The name Akpan brought back all the stored away fears, insecurity,
detestation, loathe, she has harbored for time immemorial.
THOUGHTS SWIMMING IN A. POOL OF BITTERNESS!!!!!!
Her name is Mary Akpan and she has her life story on that
NOTE. Before she continues, she would like to crave your indulgence on her use
of THIRD PERSON to refer to herself. If you have lived her life and walked her
walk, you would understand her need to run away from herself...not that she
wants your pity or empathy. Like she said earlier, her name is Mary Akpan and
she hails from Akampa, a small community in Calabar. Of seven children she was
the only girl......the only child from her dead mother with six step brothers
from her father and step mother.
She grew up with tears and pains, ghosts of an already
marred future. At age 5, she was exposed to sex from the moans of her father
and step mother in their one room apartment. Her step brothers gave her first
kiss and she had sex even before she knew what it was.
She remembers her first encounter. Another normal night,
when silence fills the crowded one room space, and only the muffled alcoholic
stench breathing of her 55years old father fills the air, with thudding sounds
of skin against skin. The night time was the best time of her day as she had
her freedom only at that time. Lying on the floor amidst five snoring bodies,
she would let her mind wander without limits to memories that her not hers,
deluded memories that give her escape from the harsh realities of her
existence.
THEN IT HAPPENED!!
A cold hand moving to her sprouting breast, her skin crawled
into her soul as every contact she has had so far with another body was a slap,
a hit, kick, pinch etc. But this was different, it felt different! It felt
good! Really good! This became a night routine she looked forward to and she
drifted through the torturous day until night time, for that touch, that
closest thing she had felt to love. It was not like she was treated differently
during the day by Effiong. Effiong was
the step brother that supplied her nightly pleasure. In fact he told her other
four brothers and that was where her nights turned to dreads.
She was used to fulfill fantasies seen on TV by her
brothers. Every other night turn by turn, a bolder step towards the real deal.
She wakes up, sore from all d touching and pressing. Her final passage into
womanhood was at age 11. Her father returning from his usual drinking trip to
the bar, pounced on her thinking she was his wife. Oddly enough she did not
struggle, she thought to herself that if this was the only way she could
experience fatherly love, she did not mind. In fact after that first painful
bloody encounter that almost tore the family apart and brought more step mother
hatred, she vowed never to stop giving it to her father. For her it was a time
to bond with her father and she realized she could make her father say
anything, just anything!
TELL ME YOU LOVE ME! TELL ME I AM SPECIAL! TELL ME I'M
BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!
These were the things she asked during every encounter, and
because she learned to be good at giving pleasure from the adult videos she had
seen hidden in her brothers box, her father would tell her just anything to get
some more. Sex became the perfect escape from her former miserable life and she
vowed to use this powerful weapon never to return to that former life.
@Calabar_gist
No comments:
Post a Comment