Getting Him To Commit

In our ongoing attempt to demystify the opposite gender, we’ve developed a series of male stereotypes that are further perpetuated by TV, movies and media. While stereotypes are by definition a negatively generalized branding of a specific type of person, they get their origins from somewhere. The men who will avoid commitment and monogamy at all costs don’t represent the entire male race, but some of them are out there dwelling amongst those who don’t deserve these unsavory labels. Some of these characteristics are ones that can be overlooked or that will fade away with the right person. But to ensure you don’t get stuck with the worst living example of a male stereotype, here’s a look at the top three most common problems out there and how to know when to go running for the hills. The Commitment-Phobe It’s true that many men love their freedom and committing to one woman means compromising their space, time and sexual freedom. That can be a daunting thought for anyone, but one that is easily overcome if they’ve found someone they are truly compatible with and couldn’t live without. Where a fear of commitment becomes a problem is if they have their own female stereotype in mind that paints you as an overbearing, jealous nag who always have to have her way. He could’ve developed this image from a past relationship that went sour, or even a prominent female figure in his earlier life. If he’s expressed a fear of commitment or given off that vibe from the get-go and it appears to be something that’s deeply ingrained, don’t waste your time. Being open to commitment comes from a sense of security with oneself and maturity, and someone without that is not someone you want to be with. The Control Freak Many men are raised on the premise that confidence is everything and as a result seek control over every aspect of their life, including their relationships. For every woman who finds this quality intimidating or an unappealing counterpart to her own alpha personality, there is a woman who finds it attractive. If you are one of the latter, keep in mind that a controlling nature can be dangerous, depending on how he displays it. A protective boyfriend who insists on driving, or orders for you at the restaurant can be sweet, but beware he develops a quick temper or becomes unreasonably jealous or possessive. The Cheater Whether in your current relationship or in a past one, cheaters should be considered a deal breaker in 99.9% of cases. The old adage that “all men cheat” goes hand in hand with other common stereotypes that all men are nymphomaniacs and crave sexual variety, but often chronic adultery stems from something even deeper. Usually cheating is the result of deep-seated insecurities, or something that’s missing or out of synch in the relationship they’re straying from. If he’s cheating in your current relationship for either of those reasons, they’re likely ones that won’t change. Beyond that, he’s violated your trust, which is an invaluable and irreplaceable pillar of your relationship. Your sights are better set on someone who recognizes how sacred that is and how lucky he is to have earned it.

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